I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
