We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
