this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
