Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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