thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
