I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
wow bdsm is so cute
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I see more hoeing in ur future
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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