If that was your dad, he is hot
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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