The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I understand Curling. That high.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
