Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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