Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
