I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
