I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
