This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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