you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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