hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
