you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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