i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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