Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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