C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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