Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Randomize
