So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
