I got chris browned last night
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
