woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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