I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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