I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
