Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
