I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
