Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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