The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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