She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
