i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
