Nicole vs. Life
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
