I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i drank out of a bidet.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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