Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
