I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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