oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
