took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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