ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society

  Fav 55 1261 4310

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

  Fav 5 3302 1021

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.

  Fav 5 940 2456

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.

  Fav 7 1871 1036

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog

  Fav 10 778 1769

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

  Fav 3 1245 592

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.

  Fav 5 855 600

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg

  Fav 1 627 488

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

  Fav 7 994 595

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.

  Fav 6 1638 549

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it

  Fav 1 285 225

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision

  Fav 0 85 7

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"

  Fav 0 59 8

  share tweet
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms

  Fav 1 81 13

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....

  Fav 1 15 31

  share tweet
  

Randomize