so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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