R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
