Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
