too bad you live with your parents still
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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