Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
