We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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