Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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