It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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