You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
