Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
