There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
