You're completely useless in the revolution.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
