I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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