But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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