Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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